...just do it...

For year 2011, make it a point to follow your dreams...Start doing what you really wanted to do, and or like to do the most....After all life is too short and yet there are just way too many things that need exploring. ********

...adventure...

Do some challenging adventure. Just give it a try. You will come out knowing yourself better. Do you know who you are? What you are? ********

...solitude...

Commune with nature for solitude and reflection....You will come out refresh and renewed. Make it a regular habit.********

The Price Is Right!

The best thing that ever happened to me in the summer of 2009. Not only did I win two valuable prices, I learned so much about people. I learned how a show is produced. I learned how they pick out the contestants from the audience. I learned that giving ourselves permission to have FUN is the proper thing to do. ******** Briefly, how I got picked? The producer, after learning that I am a teacher asked "are you smarter than a fifth grader?" (a tv show)...I stammered and came back with ..."ahh no, but I am highly qualified"....and everyone laughed...I then saw someone joting down something on her clipboard...What a wonderful experience!!!!

...talents...

Everyone is different, everybody has talent, every individual contributes to our upbringing...The key is learning from them and incorporating the good lessons learned into our own life. Learning is an ongoing process until we reached a point where we have attained that wisdom and so we become a classic to behold and admired.********

...a classroom...

The most important thing to remember is: Not all lessons are learned inside a classroom.********

...the need to belong...

First Impressions

Consciously or sub-consciously, most of us lay a lot of emphasis on first impressions, especially with regard to business matters. In personal matters, we often find that we don't like someone at first, but then as we get to know them better we warm up to them. However, the business and corporate worlds don't function in the same manner. If you don't make a good first impression, chances are that you could lose out a on a good job or contract.

Public Relations

The field of public relations is growing in importance. It's all about the image now. So if your child ever wants a job in public relations, her image will matter as well. Only if she presents a good image of herself, will she be able to portray a good image of the brand she represents. ********

...personalities...

Confidence

If your child knows that she conducts herself well, with class and aplomb, naturally her confidence and self-esteem will grow. She will have more faith in herself and in her abilities, and this faith will show through in her dealings. Remember, confidence begets confidence, and a person who is self-confident will cause others to have confidence in her.

Attraction

Confident people are more attractive to others. You do not need to be an attention seeker to come across as confident. An ability to hold yourself well, walk erect, have an intelligent conversation, not stutter too much, speak slowly and surely, and look the other person in the eye when talking is also attractive. Of course, everybody has their own little quirks, which make them even more attractive - so if you stammer a little, or fidget, or play with your hair, it doesn't make you less attractive, and, as long as you present an overall image of confidence, these little quirks make you even more appealing.
********

...gifts...

Body Language
This is an oft forgotten aspect of parenting. Certain forms of body language remain with a person even in adulthood. Gestures like shrugging shoulders, various motions of hands or feet that children use today, are improper body language for a child, and show disrespect. Any such rude body language should be pointed out to the child at the first available opportunity. ********

...distinction... adult and child...

Every interaction with children provides an opportunity to teach values.
Through daily interactions
A child will not always remember what he has been told about 'respect', but he will remember what we have done or how we have behaved in similar circumstances. If
we show sensitivity towards his feelings and scold him in privacy rather than in front of others, he will learn the meaning of respect. Through our examples
If we want our children to accord respect and deference to their peers no matter what our own adult frictions, we must make an effort in front of the children to treat our elders too with respect. If you want your child to be respectful to others, demonstrate the same through your own actions and attitude. If you want your child to be a courteous, law-abiding citizen, let him observe your conduct when you are driving, shopping, or attending a social event. Children learn mostly by observing our actions.Through the way we do things as a family
Respect is something we must give in order to get. When a child lives in a respectful atmosphere, it shows in his treatment of others. So respect your spouse, and your child will learn to respect his or her spouse in turn. Respect your parents, and your child will learn to respect you. ********

...legacy...parenting style...

The art of parenting is a colorful, creative and diverse one. Depending on which country you come from or your status in  society. But the most basic ingredient of parenting is unconditional love. With love comes acceptance, with acceptance forgiveness with forgiveness hope and with hope back to love. How we parent our own kids is usually patterned from how we were raised.

********

...politeness...

The next time a relative or friend gives your child a wonderful present or takes her out and shows her a great time, make sure your child thanks him not just immediately, but takes the time out to make a quick thank-you telephone call the next day. This simple gesture makes a world of difference to the way your child comes across. If your child has received a beautiful top as a gift from a relative, your child should ideally open the gift in front of the person, so she can appreciate it there and then and thank the gift-giver. Then, the next day, your child can make another phone call just to say that she tried on the top and that it fits really well, looks very nice etc.

If you have returned from a holiday and stayed as guests at someone's house, needless to say, you and all your family members would have thanked the hosts profusely before heading back home. But on reaching home, not only should you make it a point to shoot off a thank-you email, but a thank-you email or card from your child will come across as very thoughtful.

Encourage your child to make her own thank-you cards rather than buy one from the store. This is more personalized, and comes across as a warmer and more heartfelt gesture. And if your child is creatively inclined, you can be sure she will love making little thank-you cards and notes. Doing this will also instill a sense of responsibility in her.
********

********

more on respect...

A child has also to be taught the meaning of 'respect for self'. This can be demonstrated through an unwillingness to endure disrespect. The more often parents model respect for the child, the less often they need to discipline the child.
Those times when we ask a child to do something and he does not respond, we can model mutual respect by delaying a privilege or pleasurable activity. Speak to your child in tones you would like to hear from him. Validate him by listening to him. Minimize his mistakes, focus on what he does right and encourage it. Express appreciation for his help, and show your faith in him. Encourage signs of progress and avoid demanding perfection. Avoid criticizing and nit-picking or fault finding. Make requests rather than barking out orders. Very soon you will have a respectful child. Teach your child that you have to earn respect. Remember, respect is commanded, not demanded.
********

...kindness...and consideration...

Begin when the child is a toddler. Tell him that everyone should be treated with kindness and consideration. Guide him, and praise him whenever he behaves. Also, tell him if he wants to be treated with consideration, he must show the same to others. So he must stop talking back to his peers, and instead, deal with his feelings in other ways.

********

...words...

Children must be taught the value of words. Through examples in daily life, show them how words can hurt, anger or be disrespectful. Words should be used with care and caution, as once uttered they cannot be taken back. For instance, if your child is hurt because his playmate called him names, tell him that just as his friend's words hurt him, similarly his taunting could hurt his friend. If he wants his friend to behave well, he too must make the effort to be nice.

Children must be taught the value of words. Through examples in daily life, show them how words can hurt, anger or be disrespectful. Words should be used with care and caution, as once uttered they cannot be taken back. For instance, if your child is hurt because his playmate called him names, tell him that just as his friend's words hurt him, similarly his taunting could hurt his friend. If he wants his friend to behave well, he too must make the effort to be nice.
********

...more on parenting...

Have you ever visited someone's home and come away feeling disgusted by the behavior of the children there? While it is true that no one is perfect, children are expected to conform to certain behavioural norms. For example, greeting guests and not interrupting an ongoing conversation between two adults are rules that every child must follow, no matter how old he is.

In today's world, it is easy to send your child for etiquette classes. There he will learn how to carry on a conversation, which cutlery to use for certain foods, and a whole host of other social skills. However, teaching your child his manners is a task that should begin at home.
********

...upbringing...

Society is such that an individual is judged on the basis of his social skills. Manners play a big role in social behaviour. They influence people's perceptions and behaviour towards an individual. Good manners indicate a good upbringing and are a mark of good breeding.

Each set of circumstances has its own accepted manners. However, all manners are based on the same principal; that is consideration for other people and being mindful of their feelings. In each scenario, there are three main criteria to determine if an individual has good manners. These are diplomacy, hospitality, and tact. ********

manners...

Teaching a child how to behave should begin from the time your child is able to speak. A few basic manners are listed below.

When he is young, your child need not shake hands with a visitor. A simple 'hello' will suffice. A child older than five can be taught to shake an adult's hand while greeting him. Even if he is shy around people he is meeting for the first time, he should still greet them politely to make them feel welcome.

The same greeting behaviour should be followed when he visits someone's home. Have your child greet every member of the household. How a person is greeted will sometimes depend on the level of formality you follow. Make sure you teach your child the different forms of greeting people. Also, guide him on the method to use in each situation.
Greeting people: Teach your child to greet a visitor to your home.

something...

Teaching a child how to behave should begin from the time your child is able to speak. A few basic manners are listed below.

Waiting his turn: If you are busy speaking to someone else and your child wants to speak to you, he should wait quietly, until you have finished your conversation. If your child interrupts you, explain to him that you are busy and ask him to wait. If he persists, tell him that when many people speak at the same time, no one can be understood.

If your child is waiting to speak to you, reach out your hand to touch him and let him know you are aware of his presence. When you do listen to him, give him your complete attention. This will teach your child that waiting to speak to you ensures you will not be distracted when his turn comes.
********

...please...thank you...

Saying 'please' and 'thank you': If your child is asking for something, he should always say please. If he forgets, have him repeat his request again and remind him that he forgot to say please. Explain to him that when he asks for something without saying please, it appears like a demand, rather than a request.

Your child should always thank a person when he receives a gift from someone and when someone complies with his request. He should say thank you even when someone compliments him for any reason.

Teach your child manners using positive reinforcement techniques. Praise your child when he does something right. If he makes a mistake, gently explain to him why he is wrong and show him the correct way to act. Remember though, that manners cannot be learned in a single day. You will need to keep reminding your child about them. This will ensure that he grows up into a charming, well-mannered adult.
********

more tips on politeness...

*Be a good listener yourself. Listen to your child and guide her so that she knows when she should be listening.

*Instead of nagging her or being short with her when she interrupts, develop a less aggressive way of telling her that she has to wait. May be you can lay your hand gently on her arm or request her in a firm, but kind tone to wait.

*Remember that she is a child after all, so don't have unreasonable expectations and make her wait for a long time before you get back to her. It is well known that patience is a virtue that is rare even in adults.

*If she has forgotten what she wanted to say in the interim, do not be dismissive and say that it could not have been important to begin with.
*Tell your child not to interrupt you when you are on the telephone by speaking. Suggest to her that she could tug at your arm or communicate her need to speak to you in some other non-verbal fashion. Tell her that you will acknowledge her need to speak to you by gesturing that she wait so she knows that you have heard her.*If your child still refuses to learn, then when she interrupts your telephone conversation the next time, remain calm and ignore her. If possible, go into another room and lock her out.

*If you know that you're about to have an important conversation and want to be safe from interruptions, give your child advance warning that you're going to be busy for a little while and give her something like a colouring book or a puzzle that will occupy her for some time.

*You can play a game with your child where you take turns interrupting each other while the other is trying to say something. This way your child will learn just how annoying it is to be interrupted.
*Your child will learn good manners if you exhibit them yourself. Hence, if you have to break in on any conversation, make sure that you say "Excuse me…"

*Do not forget to praise your child when she lets you get on with your work or conversations without interrupting you.
********

friendship...

Once in our life we come across a friendship or two that last a lifetime. Her name is Althea Honey. One of my heroes. A charming woman with honest demeanor. Distance between us is not a problem as far as constant and regular communication is concerned. She does not own a computer but she  hand writes and sometimes types all her lovely letters and notes.What a lovely penmanship.  Selfishly, I don't want her to own a computer for I treasure all her personalized correspondence. She lives by herself in Northern California with her adorable dog Mitzie. We met at the oddest time. When our "inside passage" trip took a stop at Juneau Alaska, she boarded. We made instant friends. We would visit the dining hall and other areas together and would always strike a great exchange of ideas. She was amazed at how the kitchen crew managed to cook some of the Asian dishes just for me. Sometimes she would come with me to visit the crew room and chat with these  hospitable and charming people. The loveliest  and certainly unforgettable  thing she ever did for me was when she changed her plans just so she can celebrate  with me on my birthday aboard the ship. Friendship that lasts a lifetime is certainly nurtured. Both parties have to make an effort to make sure the friendship blooms into a full-grown sweet, caring, accepting, loving, growing and connected relationship. Hers was the first Christmas card I received three days ago...with a hint of disappointment as to why she hasn't heard from me lately. Well, Althea, here's to you. You are the loved. You are treasured.  You are appreciated. What a lovely name, what a lovely person!!!

parenting...

When children are born, they are like blank slates on which their parents' help to script the beginnings of the stories of their lives. Every child grows up and ultimately charts his own destiny, but his parents lay the foundation.
Parenting IS the most important job in the world, and THE most difficult one. It does not come with instructions. It comes with dedication, perseverance, love, compassion, understanding, heartaches, pains, joy and guidance.

My parents  encouraged us to do our best. Our best is their best for they know we tried hard. Somebody said that if we do a good job as parents everything else seems easy. But again, it is a lot of work. But nothing good comes easy. It is good to see that most people are now opting to postpone or start a family late.

respect...

Teachers work hard to make sure they do their job right. Majority of the teachers do have the kids best interest at heart. To them it is a mission and a vocation. They work long hours and they play all roles; father, mother, counselor, nurse, grandma, friend, confidante, sister, brother etc.
Respect of self and others can make a child to grow up to be confident. Confidence need not come from aggression, treating others poorly and 'fighting' for your 'rights'. Let your child take a cue from his school head girl or head boy. Is she rude to teachers or to other students? No. Does he display a bad temper? No. However, isn't she still confident? Yes. Can he make a speech in front of the entire school without quaking in his boots? Perhaps. Does she have a strong respect for her teachers? Yes!
Unless we instill a respect for teachers in each child he will never develop a desire to learn. And when and if he does, it may be too late, and he will look back at the wasted years with regret. Don't let this happen to your child. Put him on the path to success at the outset, by simply teaching him to respect his teachers.
In most countries teachers are highly regarded. Parents side with the teachers and oftentimes children  listen more to their teachers than their parents.
One very profound feeling of contentment I had came from a mother who shared this with me. "Mrs. Wenger, when my son misbehaves at home, all I have to do is tell him, "you better shape up or I will tell your teacher". I do love her son, he was one of the most-behaved in class and he will never do anything to have his card changed. It was his goal to stay "green" all year long, and he succeeded. To me he showed so much respect for himself and for others, his teacher included. He is on the path for a better and brighter future. Better and brighter future, that's where these children should have!

encouragement...

This is one of my most-treasured pictures.. There he is beside his 1958 Buick taken on May 3rd of that year. It rains a lot during the month of May in the Philippines and I remember too well when most conversations (or should I say, monologue)  with him took place  during these months. The best conversation would always be about two things: Do the right thing.  (kung. mabuti na ang ginagawa mo may kaaway ka pa rin, eh lalo na kung salbahe ka) Pardon the sketchy tagalog. But what he really meant was, If by doing good you still get in trouble and have enemies, how much more when you are not being/doing good. The next one was, treat people right. (mabuti pa ang kubo na ang nakatira ay tao) Again pardon the tagalog. What he meant was, better a human being living in a shack than a wild animal living in a mansion. I think I have been blessed to have those conversations with him. And oh, that Buick? it was gone by the time I was a teen-ager, but he kept encouraging me to learn how to drive as soon as possible. What a father!!! Kids listen to your parents. I wonder if I should look up a 1958 Buick (cant remember the model).

generosity...

Once in a while we meet people whose goodness is contagious. This important man (T.H.) is one of them. There could be  100 persons in a room and he makes each one feel like she/he is  the most important person on earth. And what a great feeling that is. The good part about it is, that feeling stays with you. You can not however contain it. You must spread it. That is the ultimate purpose. To spread goodness around. Spreading that goodness takes practice and conscious effort. It just does not come naturally. Just look around you right now. How many people even smiled at you today. How many people cordially responded to you when you asked them how they are doing? They say it takes less muscles to smile and it makes you look younger. So practice those smiles and start spreading that goodness around. It's a good feeling. Who knows you could be as important as this man is someday. Start now. Spreading that goodness is also a sign of being generous.

Manners...

I call this my Spanish connection. Sometimes it takes a far away place to teach us some very basic yet very important thing in life. Manners. So I was in one of these open markets in downtown Madrid. There were stalls selling beautiful, colorful, gorgeous postcards. And oh how I wanted to buy them all. I went in to one that had the biggest selection. I proceeded to pick this, pick, that, and oh wait, this is nice too, and oh this one...I ended up having a dozen or two gorgeous ones in my hands. I approached the owner/vendor/cashier to pay for my selections. Sadly, I did not have enough pesetas on me, nor did I bring enough dollars. This was 1978, I did not have credit/debit cards then. With what money I have I can only buy half of my selection. I paid, he bagged my purchase and I proceeded to return the unpurchased postcards in one slot. Meanwhile I was being watched. The owner took the postcards and returned each one by one in its respective spot while murmuring "la cosa mas importante, no tienen". Was I blushed, I could not speak a word. I walked out and sat myself in the plaza thinking hard, really hard. Why did I do that? It does not take forever to put those cards back  where they belong? I got to America and saw how rampart this habit was. We tend to put tons of things in our cart, and once we decide we don't want some of them, we conveniently just leave them where we happen to see a spot. Most of the time we would not bother to go back to that aisle where the items belong. It's Christmas and shopping is hectic, watch how many people do this and think to yourself, "is this the right thing to do"? If you feel like it is not, then please take the time to return things where they belong. It will make you feel better. Happy Christmas shopping!!!

Christmastime...

This should be the official fruit for Christmas. It is red, one of the colors of Christmas. When cut in half we see stars, not the "star of Bethlehem" but yet stars. The juice is bittersweet, a reminder that some of us Can celebrate with family and friends and some Can not. Lots of seeds, remind us of all the  people in our life. Some have gone, some have been forgotten, some we have  lost track of, some close and some so far way, physically or otherwwise. Once the seeds are off the core, we see empty and hollow spaces. A reminder that our life is all about people we love, family, friends, community, the relationship we have developed and nurtured. Dont worry about the lost ones, new ones are always forged. They come in many sizes, some small some large, some darker red, some light red, much like us, we all come in different sizes. The best part, it is rich in anti-oxidant, good for us, a healthy fruit gift from God indeed!!!

are you happy?

That's Abby's favorite line lately. When she asks us that question, we can't help but reflect right that instant. We pause before we give her our answer. What a reflective question. When we answer instantly to this question we find that our answer is based on happiness by having material things right we we have them.  When we reflect, we find that our answer  has a deeper meaning. We discover/rediscover that indeed our happiness is really based not on things of this earth. I love it when she asks me that question. It reminds me to also understand where my happiness really comes from. Children, they have wisdom, we must recognize them.